So you resonated to ideas of disappointment as well.  Anything else?
 

(Jack suddenly stands up for a moment and stamps his right foot in an odd way, as if to straighten his pants or get the kinks out of his muscles, but then he looks out the window.  It's unclear what he's doing.  He walks over a few feet to the window and stands there looking out.  Jill looks surprised at his standing.  While Jack's looking out the window, he resumes talking.) No, wait just a minute.  You asked me to stop and think.  What was I to think about? I was supposed to think about if Jill's idea of love was really as I said, that I wouldn't  have really kissed her hard if I really loved her. (Sigh)

(Jack walks back over and sits back down. He is talking quietly, not looking at anyone.)  I guess not.  I guess that isn't really what Jill thinks of as "love." I guess she wants something i can't give her, but it's not just not kissing her hard.  I guess I see your point.  (Then there is a sudden change of voice.) But you seem to be missing my point, Doc.  You seem to be taking sides here and I don't think I can understand Jill if you can't understand me, too.  The point is that I love her with all my heart and that I'm the one trying to make this marriage work and right now she has just completely shut down and there is nothing I can do to make it work. I don't see how I can go on unless she admits that she's not trying anymore, and that I am.  And it seems to me, Doc, that you are just taking sides here, that you aren't really trying to help us, or not trying to help me, anyway. That's how I feel. I put out good money to come here and you just side with her.  I'm trying my best here, and I need you to look at my side.  I need that, man.  I'm trying here.
 

I hope you recognize, though, that if the two of you just repeat the same old conversation, it'll likely have the same old result. I'm challenging you - both of you - to orient to each other in a different way - to try talking about the same vitally important issues differently.  Therein lies your chance.  You said you felt like I was taking sides.  That's not my experience, but I see why you got that idea.  Rest assured that over time you will each probably think from time to time I'm siding with the other.  Besides, Jack, (Taylor smiles and tilts head a little) you *are* calling a lot of attention to how you communicate.  Your way of emphasizing things
really calls my attention there.  You're free, by the way to challenge me about siding with Jill anytime.  I'd appreciate it.  Jill, same for you.
 

While I am firmly convinced you are trying everything you could think of to do -- I'm sure there are also some things you have not tried.

As I said - I'm also convinced Jill is trying to everything she knows how to do -- I guess we're both repeating things now.

Here's the thing -- I see you trying to help things - to make this marriage work -- yet I have to tell you that by leading with your anger and resentment -- I think you are inadvertently making things worse.  Are you willing to try some more things that are human possible?  Or is it important to you to believe you've done everything??
 

I think probably you will have to do more stuff to make the relationship work, but I suspect there's really a lot more to it that the lawn, the laundry or any other task.  I don't know for sure, but I really suspect it's more about the human relationship that exists between the two of you.

I also suspect it'll be important for Jill to work on the relationship as well.

You asked for some ideas -- I may yet have some more, but I guess the first idea I have for you is to ask your partner what ideas she has for what kinds of things both of you can do to improve things.  I bet you have some ideas for both of you as well.
 

If I could offer a suggestion - I'd suggest both of you begin to speak about your desires for the relationship -- not so much what the other is doing "wrong" -- but rather statements about what you want.

It's a beginning - it's important to know that the flip side of this is equally important - what you want is balanced by what you want to give back.

Any thoughts about this for either of you ???  Remember it's important - if you can, not to allow yourselves to be taken over by a resentful presence and speak from the heart.
Does that make sense??
 

Is that what you mean you want us to do?
 

So Jack, I wonder how much of what Jill has just said is stuff you already know from living your lives together??
 

Oh, and just to reassure you, I also think there's something wrong with Jill.  And for that matter, with me.  I hope feeling crazy, or "mentally ill", or frustrated, or hurt, or angry, or confused, or anything doesn't stop us from trying to move forward and get what we want from life.

Jack, I doubt it has always been this way, but in the short time I've known you, you seem to lead, in your interactions with Jill and myself, with the hard edge of your personality, not the tender underside.  It's OK to be hurt and fearful.  I guess it's ok to give up too, but I really wouldn't recommend it.  As I've said before - I think you're clearly working hard here - I'm a little shocked though that you're so quick to jump in and work on yourself that Jill has had very little time on the hot seat. Are you really that protective of her feelings?