November 16, 2020
The key to success in any personal relationship lies in the ability to communicate effectively and express appreciation and gratitude; doing so daily works wonders. This is why the five love languages can be helpful when it comes to our relationships with our family, friends, and lovers—the concept can even make a difference with our coworkers, too.
The inspiration and motivation that come from comforting words, loving praises, and acts of kindness go a long way in the workplace, especially when there's a fast-paced, high-stress environment. So, whether you're working from home in California or interacting with your colleagues in person, use the five love languages in the workplace to strengthen your relationships and create a more positive, productive team culture.
What Are The 5 Love Languages?
Conceived by author Gary Chapman, the five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love. In the workplace, these love languages can be used to help you effectively communicate appreciation and encouragement to your employees or coworkers, leading to stronger relationships, higher job satisfaction, and a more positive work environment.
Your teammates, managers, and associates all have a slightly different work style and mindset, so they each have unique preferences for how they like to receive feedback and encouragement. By learning each person's love language in the workplace, you can understand how to effectively collaborate with distinct personalities while also accomplishing tasks efficiently. So, don your best professional attire and incorporate the following communication methods for a more pleasant, productive day at your place of work.
- Words of affirmation: using words to affirm people
- Quality time: giving someone undivided attention
- Receiving gifts: buying someone a meaningful, thoughtful item
- Acts of service: going above and beyond to help a team member
- Physical touch: giving teammates a high five, pat on the back, etc.
Need helping finding your love language or that of each employee? Take the free online test and share it with your team. You can even turn it into a team-building activity!
Using love languages at work
1. Words Of Affirmation Love Language
People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments such as compliments and words of appreciation. Whether you're the team cheerleader or more of the quiet introvert, try using positive words of affirmation to encourage and motivate your coworkers. Plenty of studies (and personal experiences) show that verbally expressing gratitude or simply saying “thank you” to your teammates makes a big difference when it comes to improving morale.
One way to show your gratitude to the team is to organize a meeting celebrating the wins and advancements of each member. All members share the spotlight of success; teamwork and team bonding is further solidified thanks to positive encouragement. Acknowledge the team's successes during an in-person meeting, over a video call, or in public Slack channels.
Also keep in mind that when discussing work-related topics or having performance-related conversations, it's crucial to open the dialogue with positive words of affirmation. It's important that your employees are reminded of their talents and positive attributes even while having discussions regarding mistakes or areas for improvement.
Quality Time Love language
Just because you work together, doesn’t mean that you can’t spend extra quality time together—people whose love language is quality time thrive off of team-bonding activities. This includes work lunches, meetups outside of work, and 1:1 discussions. Investing time in your colleagues will help you better understand their goals and mindset while also comprehending their work ethic. Keep in mind to discuss non-work and work-related topics to cultivate a positive company culture.
Spending quality time is one of the main tools to boost positivity and inspire self-starters to get the ball rolling. It's also important to regularly connect with teammates regarding their projects—even if you're not a part of it—to make them feel as if they're not alone. Check in with your colleagues regularly to see how they're doing and provide focused attention. Whether you provide comforting words or offer to help them with their task, showing support can really go a long way.
Receiving Gifts Love Language
It's integral to your team's success to give kudos whenever a member succeeds, and gift-giving and receiving is a simple way to show your appreciation in any workplace environment. Remember that it's not about the monetary value of the gift, but rather the meaning behind it. Whether you give your coworker a new book by their favorite author or a gift card to their favorite California coffee shop or restaurant, giving them a gift will do nothing but put a smile on their face and improve their morale.
Management can show their appreciation to employees in a number of ways, from providing free lunches to offering a stipend for professional development courses. Everyone is bound to be more motivated and loyal if they know their hard work and dedication are highly valued and appreciated by the company.
Acts Of Service Love Language
The acts of service love language is all about helping a colleague out. Those who have this love language respect and value when you take time from your busy day to help them come up with a solution to a problem they're facing, brainstorm an idea with them, or provide support with a challenging project assigned to them. The acts of service don't stop there, though. If you notice an employee is drowning in work, offer to take a few tasks off their hands—even the removal of one task can go a long way. A helping hand is always appreciated; just ensure you're both on the same page of what needs to be accomplished, how it should be done, and how much time can be spent on it. If you can't provide this type of help to your colleague, offering them resources you know they'll need ahead of time is just as effective.
Physical Touch Love Language
The love language of physical touch is less important in the workplace than in personal relationships. Plus, it can be quite sensitive when applied at work; there are more boundaries in the workplace, and some people by not even desire appropriate physical touch. But spontaneous, celebratory displays—such as high fives, fist (or elbow) bumps, and pats on the back—are quite common between coworkers and are beneficial for building positive work-based relationships. If you're working remotely, you may not be able to do these things, but you can send a virtual hug or offer a virtual shoulder for someone to lean on.
No size fits all, and that's certainly applicable to personalities, so the five love languages can be beneficial to any team. Although it may seem daunting to find each individual's primary language of appreciation and motivation—especially if you work in a large corporation—it can make a significant impact. Once you build the foundation for healthy working relationships, a powerfully positive team energy is born; you'll become in sync with one another, executing tasks efficiently and effectively.
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